Its not that new year had been so exciting for me! Every new year had been normal for I don’t make any resolutions..Since I don’t remember those !!
But for the first time this Christmas, I just had a quick recap of my last year… And I had a weird feeling.. Thought I should pen it down! Coz I have never felt this before and I thought I should get over it!!
I remember last Christmas! 2009 Christmas…I had been to Cochin..met my schoolmates , teachers! Yes a school reunion what I had longed for!back to those classes with classmates! Just that we all had grown up :-)
I was back to my native and I was bedridden..I was down with Chickenpox..Yes my new year was in my bed.. With me not seeing the outside world… A time where I was kind of depressed! Feeling very low!
It took me more than half a month to be back to Bangalore and back to Office! I was a bit worried about the scars left all over my face! But to my surprise, people couldn’t recognize which were my Chickenpox scars and which were Acne scars :-) Felt a bit better… Progressing to the next month, Saw my project shutdown all of a sudden! By March I was adjusting to the life on bench… Seeing movies, trying to hide the depression I was getting into.. Ran into many official issues during that month! Somehow got into a project..Then came April, My birthday was lost in that depression! Went much unnoticed to myself! Later that month, I lost my grandmother. A person I loved most in my life. That was the last straw I guess. I saw myself slowly getting into a state of self-hatred, depression, self-pity! I just lost faith in myself! Almost till July, I just was dragging myself into and outside of life! And at last in July, I quit my job! Took a break and joined my new job in August! Things started falling in place in my personal and professional life .
I am still trying to gather the shattered pieces of my life! Regaining myself!
Throughout , I just held on to life because of the support of my family and friends! Thank You All for just being there.. Pushing me, standing by me, supporting me and most of all suffering me :-)
A big thank you to each one of you!
There's lots I learnt last year! Failures happen! You like it or not! Take it and go ahead! Coz that's life! Life just runs on hope! Hope that one day everything will be fine! We cant get back what we lost, but we were lucky enough to be chosen to enjoy those moments! So that we can cherish them later!
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all!